Friday, February 28, 2014

The Day School Shootings Hit Home ~ Remembering Chardon High School


It was a typical winter Tuesday morning in NE Ohio.  Snow was falling - it was cold and I was just waking up to start my day.  At sometime around 8:30 or 9 am I was alerted to breaking news out of the town just 10 minutes South - called Chardon, OH.  I had friends who lived there and my brother-in-law worked at the Home Depot.  The news alert on my iphone flashed "Breaking: SCHOOL SHOOTING IN CHARDON".  I immediately jumped up and turned on the television to live news coverage.  And there is was - 6 students shot by a lone gunman in the high school.  That gunman was a fellow 17-year-old student who made the decision on that day to sit in the cafeteria and open fire on innocent kids.  Initially the reports were that those that were shot were in stable condition - but then within hours - 3 young men had lost their lives, one was paralyzed and two others, while 2 others would recover from their injuries - but would have to live the rest of their days remembering the horror of that day.  

Tuesday, February 27, 2012 is the day that would change a community and a state forever.  It was the day that gun violence hit home.  It is one of those things that you think could never happen at your school.  You go on through life thinking that school shootings are something that "happen to other people" - they couldn't possibly happen in your backyard.  But on this day, it did.  On this day it became real.  In the days and months that follow NE Ohio came together.  Schools all over the Greater Cleveland area wore Chardon's school colors - Red and Black.  Nearly everyone that I know changed their facebook profile pictures to a Black ribbon with the words "Chardon" or "Hilltoppers" or "One Heartbeat".  Pictures of students from schools standing an a heart formation holding signs of support for this small, snow-belt community known mainly for the huge amounts of snow they get in the winter and for the famous Maple Festival - a weekend long celebration commemorating the spring maple syrup harvest.  

A local radio station was running a contest where one lucky high school could win the right to celebrate their prom at the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame.  A once in a lifetime celebration - the entire state pulled together and started the "Chardon for Rock the Prom" campaign - everyone wanted Chardon to win and they made sure that is what was going to happen - and it did.  It was one of the greatest show of solidarity that I had ever experienced in my life and it made me realize just how GREAT my home state really is.  We pull together and support each other in the toughest of times.  When the days were rough, we always had each other to help get us through.  Yes, even people who did not live in Chardon felt the pain of that day.  We were neighbors and neighbors are there for each other in time of need. 

Last year, just days before the 1 year anniversary, the gunman was found guilty of 3 counts of murder and 3 counts of attempted murder.  He was sentenced to life in prison.  He was not eligible for the death penalty because Ohio state law prohibits the death penalty when the perpetrator is under 18 when the crime is committed.  

Today marks the two year anniversary and the shooting is still fresh in our minds and the pain is still deep.  There have been other school shootings since that faithful day in February 2012 that have far overshadow the Chardon Shooting but for those of us that lived it.  For those of us that witnessed the harsh reality of the world today - it will never be forgotten.  I can go on and on about how I feel about gun violence and share my political opinions - but I won't.  Not today - because that's not what today is about.  Today is about recognizing and remember what happened to that sleepy little town east of Cleveland, OH.  

RIP Demetrius Hewlin, Danny Parmertor and Russel King, Jr. 


If you are interested in learning more about the Chardon High School Shootings visit:









Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Photo a Day Challenge 2014 ~ January Photos


Last month I posted a challenge to all my followers - the One Photo a Day Challenge.  I have been doing my best to take at least one photo a day since January 1st.  I thought it would be fun for me to share the photos that I have taken for the challenge.

 
1/1/14 - My first "selfie" of the new year.  This was actually supposed to be a photo of my new hair cut.

    
    
   
        
   
    
    
    
   






Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Understanding your Auto Insurance (and claims)


I have worked in the auto insurance industry for just over 6 years and I have to say that I am actually surprised at the number of people who really don't know how their auto policy works.  So, after a long hard day at my full-time job, I thought maybe I should talk a little bit about how insurance works.  I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I could explain some things it might make my job (and your life) just a little bit easier.  

First things first, I want the world to know that insurance companies are NOT out to get you.  We do not sit around all day trying to figure out ways to make your life difficult or cause you unnecessary stress and anxiety.  In fact, it's just the opposite.  The vast majority of insurance companies really are the "good guys".  It's also important to note that every state has a special governmental agency devoted to making laws and regulations that keep the insurance companies "in check."  And the best part is that each state's Department of Insurance has a website that you, the consumer, can go to when you have questions about the insurance laws in your state.  Just do a search for "Department of Insurance".   

Let's pick apart your policy.  (This is where I have to put the disclaimer that your policy may not have all of the coverages that I am going to list in this article, and there might be slight difference in limits or requirements based on your state's regulations and off course, the company that you purchase your insurance from).  Basically, your policy coverages will be broken into two types: First Party and Third Party.  First party coverage is designed to cover you and your property.  Third party coverage is designed to not only protect you, but also to protect the person that you injure or cause damage to.  I know that is a little bit confusing, but I hope that by the end of this it will all be much clearer to you. 

Every auto policy purchased in the United States will have third party coverage.  You may recognize the words "liability insurance".  This is your third party coverage.  This coverage provides protection for you and your assets in the event that you cause injury or damage to someone else or their property.  The two line coverages within "liability insurance" are Bodily Injury and Property Damage.  These coverages are not payable to you - instead they are payable to the person you injure.  Let's say you cause an accident and the other vehicle is damaged and it's passengers & driver are injured.  Your bodily injury coverage and property damage will provide coverage up to the limits of your policy.  As an example, let's say you live in Ohio and you have state minimum liability coverage.  This means that your policy will pay each person you injure a maximum of $12,500 each person - however, this only applies until a total limit of $25,000 is reached.  So say that there are 4 people in the car, and each one is injured, once that $25,000 limit is reached, that is all your policy will pay.  Conversely, if in Ohio, and you have state minimum limits and your negligence causes the other vehicle to be a total loss - pray that it's worth less than $7500 because that's all the policy will pay.  
I am not going to go over all the possible scenarios - I just want people to have a basic understanding of how this works.  For specific information about your policy, I encourage you to talk to your agent or insurance customer service representatives to find out how your policy limits work. 

Now, first party coverage.  These are the coverages that most people refer to as "full coverage".  I encourage you to throw that term out the window.  In reality, there is no such thing as "full coverage", because your auto policy does not cover everything 100%.  Here's a brief description of each first party coverage that you might be able to purchase. 

Collision - This is coverage for damages caused to your vehicle.  It does not matter if you are or are not at fault for the damages.  You can use this coverage to fix your vehicle damages.  You will always have some kind of deductible with this coverage.  A deductible is a pre-determined dollar amount that you have agreed to pay in the event of a loss.  It will apply to each claim you file.  The standard deductible amounts are $250 and $500.  I always tell people that when trying to decide what deductible they want to choose, think about how much money you can come up with in an emergency.  I personally have a $250 deductible.  It's a lot easier for me to come up with $250 than it is to come up with $500. 

Comprehension - This is coverage for damages to your vehicle that are a result of theft, fire, vandalism, flood, or other "acts of god", like animal hits.  Again, you will choose a deductible when you purchase this coverage and the deductible can be a different amount than you collision deductible. (Mine is $100 because I know that it is more likely that my car is going be damaged due to one of these factors than in a collision - my driving record proves that). 

Uninsured Motorist Property Damage -  This coverage does exactly what it says.  It provides coverage in the event that your vehicle is damaged by an uninsured motorist.  Some states mandate a deductible, others don't.  Some states allow you to purchase this coverage along with Comprehensive & Collision coverage, others don't.  This is where you will have to talk to your insurance company for recommendations. 

Uninsured Motorist/Underinsured Motorist Bodily Injury - Again, it does exactly what the name says. 

Medical Payments - Available in different dollar amounts, this coverage provides you and your passengers some coverage for medical bills as a result of an injury due to a motor vehicle accident. 

Personal Injury Protection - In some states, this coverage is available in place of medical payments coverage.  It is basically the same thing. 

Roadside Assistance - Some insurance companies offer this coverage as an added benefit for their customers.  This is only for mechanical breakdown and things such as running out of gas or locking your keys in the car (because if you are like my husband, this happens several times a year).  It is usually pretty cheap to purchase, but there are limitations.  Quite honestly, I would rather have a membership to AAA, but for those that can't afford AAA this is a good alternative. 

Rental Reimbursement - This provides you with a rental provided you are without your vehicle due to repairs required after a collision, comprehensive or uninsured motorist property damage loss.  It does not provide you with a rental for mechanical breakdowns!

Okay, I think I have given you an overview of the possible coverage that you may have on your auto policy.  Now I want to touch on what happens when you have an accident or a comprehensive loss.  First, most insurance companies require you to notify them within 24 hours of the accident to let them know that a loss occurred (there are some exceptions, but for the most part remember to report it within 24 hours).  This is important.  Even if you don't think you are at fault or don't want to use your policy for repairs, still report it.  I cannot stress this enough.  You pay your insurance company to protect you - let them do their job by doing so.  You can make it a lot easier by reporting the accident so your insurance company can go through all the proper steps in investigating the accident to determine if there is any kind of exposure to you. The insurance company cannot protect you in if they don't know that the loss occurred.  In addition, there are provisions in your policy contract that stipulate exclusions that might go into effect if you don't report it in a timely manner.  
Next, cooperate with your claims adjuster.  They have procedures and steps they have to follow.  Unfortunately, there will be times when coverage cannot be afford right away.  There may be additional investigative steps that have to be taken and you may be asked to provide additional information like phone records, accident reports, witnesses, bank records, etc in order for the adjuster to verify facts of loss, date of loss, etc.  

Stay calm!!!  Insurance adjuster are highly trained professionals.  They know the ins and outs of your policy.  They are not trying to be jerks when they can't give you exactly what you want when you want it.  They know that this is a stressful time, but they are human too and they have one goal - find coverage for your accident.  Sometimes though, coverage just is not available and unfortunately, claims do get denied.  

Lastly, remember that while this is a stressful time and accidents are hugely inconvenient, your insurance company is there to protect you and your assets.  



Monday, February 24, 2014

CeCe's Book Club ~ "My Life" by Bill Clinton


I thought I would check in with the status of my current book selection.  How many of you are reading Former President Clinton's autobiography?  How many of you have read it in the past?  Ist there anything in the book that stands out to you?  Is there anything that you were surprised about?

I will tell you that as I continue to read the book (I am now on Chapter 48), I am learning, through the eyes of our former president, just how "sneaky" our politicians can be.  I am amazed at the lengths that Kenneth Starr, special prosecutor for the White Water scandal, went to get President Clinton impeached.  I am also amazed at the brutal honesty he has had about the Monica Lewinski affair.

I love autobiographies and biographies - but so far this is has probably been the best one I have ever read.  I do have to admit though that I am anxious to finish it.  It is a very long book and as I said before, it can become very dry and boring.  But if you can push yourself past the boredom, there is a lot of great stuff in there....and a lot of history.

I want to hear from you guys.  I want to make this blog one that people enjoy coming to.  I need to know what kinds of things you want me to share.  What topics do you want me to explore and write about?  I do this for you - the readers, just as much as I do this for me.

Please leave your comments on the posts.  I welcome them.  Please leave suggestions how I can make this blog better.  And as a side note, I have started posting family recipes again on "Homemade Hunky" - you can find the link along the margin of this page.  Make sure if you like recipes and enjoy trying new foods to follow that blog as well.






Sunday, February 23, 2014

Metabolism & Weight Loss


Over the last 6 weeks I have committed myself to working hard at making positive, healthy changes in my life.  It started when I quit smoking on December 29, 2013.  After 2 weeks of being smoke free I had gained at least 5 lbs, though I think it was more like 10 lbs.  This is one of the reasons I was not successful at quitting before - I would always gain weight and then I would feel defeated and upset so I would start smoking again.  This time, I wanted it to be different.  I couldn't allow myself to gain a lot of weight just because I was trying to make myself healthier by quitting smoking.  So, 6 weeks ago I began my weight loss journey.  

I have to admit that when I committ myself to something I become a nerd about it.  I have to research EVERYTHING I can about it.  Just like when I quit smoking, I researched all the different options for nicotine replacement therapy and all the different things that would happen when my body went through withdrawals.  So weight loss was no different.  I had to research, and I continue to research different things like healthy recipes, what are the best foods to eat when trying to lose weight, how much water should I drink, etc.  I also have been researching metabolism and how it effects weight loss and weight gain.  Part of the reason I began looking at metabolism is because I do have medical issues and take medications for them.  But I have also been experiencing a lot of fatigue, pain, irritability, hair loss, mood swings, and other symptoms that all point to Hypothyroidism and Graves Disease.  These will dramatically effect a person's metabolism.  But since I have not been officially diagnosed with either one of these conditions, I have to assume that all my metabolism needs is a "jump start".  

Today I want to share some information that I found while doing my research on metabolism.  Here's some things that you (and I) need to know about metabolism. 

1. You can't change Metabolism - you can only influence it.  Before starting any kind of weight loss program it is highly recommended that you know how your body stores and uses food.  The food you eat and the drinks that you drink are processed by way of your metabolism.  The metabolism converts sugar, protein and fat into energy.  Energy is then created and stored - this is call anabolism.  When energy is release, this is known as catabolism.  This process is controlled by the endocrine system.  You cannot directly control the metabolism, but you can controll what you eat, how much and how much physical activity you get. 

2. Calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate - Calculate how many calories per day your body needs to maintain your current weight. The formula for this calculation is called the Harris Benedict Formula.  It combines your BMR with your activity level.  You can calculate your BMR by going to http://www.discoveryfitandhealth.com/centers/heart/basal/basal.html?_ga=1.170220835.261629222.1393208679

3. Fast Metabolism is mostly a myth - Each person has their own metabolism.  It is based on your genetics, age, gender, muscle mass and environmental factors.  When you skip meals or severely reduce the number of calories you eat, your body compensates by slowing down your metabolism. 

4. Exercise boosts metabolism - People who are better hydrated have higher metabolic rates. You should drink 8-12 8 oz glasses of water a day to remain hydrated properly.  The more active you are, the more calories you burn.  When trying to lose or maintain weight, physical activity is one of the most important factors. 

5. More muscle mass means a faster metabolism - Muscle mass helps burn calories.  One pound of muscle burns about 15 calories a day.  One pound of fat burns nothing.  

6. Healthy sleep means healthy metabolism - You should aim to lose between 1/2 - 2 lbs per week when trying to lose weight.  Choose healthy foods, use portion control and commit to getting physical activity everyday.  You should also commit to getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night.  

7. Metabolism slows with age - As we age, it is natural for our metabolism to slow down.  Beginning in your 40's you need 200 fewer calories per day in order to maintain your wait.  And you must continue (or step up) your physcal activity. 

8. Slow thyroid means slow metabolism - The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland that is located below the Adam's apple.  If it goes wonky, you won't be able to lose weight.  The thyroid releases hormones that control many of your body's functions.  This includes your metabolic rate.  (I just had my thyroid tested by my PCP this past week.  I pray that the results will help me figure out why I have been feeling the way I have been) 

9. Caffeine (may) boost your metabolism - Caffeine is a stimulant. It can improve alertness. Green tea with caffeine may help your metabolism.  

10. Calories trump metabolism for weight loss- Total number of calories and physical activity, in the end, determines how much weight you will lose.  Choose foods that are high in protein like lean meats and fish.  Eat foods that are high in fiber and low-fat dairy.  Watch portion sizes and calories.  3500 calories equals 1 pound.  So, start be eliminating 500 calories from your diet each day and you will lose 1 lb per week!


Saturday, February 22, 2014

Common Misconceptions about NASCAR and It's Fans

Tomorrow is the BIG day!  NASCAR returns to the racetrack in the grand-daddy race of them all - the Daytona 500.  As a motorsports fan, I have to say that I have heard a lot of people say things about NASCAR and it's fans and quite frankly, while some characteristics may be true, they don't define what NASCAR is and who NASCAR fans are.

1. NASCAR racing is a waste of time and money.  So far from the truth that sometimes is drives me insane when I hear this!  People who are not familiar with NASCAR think that racing causes the price of gas to increase and that it is wasteful.  The truth of the matter is that stock cars within the NASCAR series do not even use regular unleaded gasoline.  In fact, they run off of a special fuel blend by Sunoco called Green E15.  The waste of money thing is just ridiculous!  It's a promotional frenzy for well-known businesses like Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Dupont, Budweiser, GoDaddy and all of the other multi-billion dollar corporations who sponsor racers in NASCAR.  And for them, it means brand loyalty.  Because when a race fan is loyal to their driver - they are pretty loyal to the brand too. In addition, NASCAR and it's partners make large charitable contributions every year and works very closely with the Make-a-Wish Foundation granting wishes for terminally ill children.  NASCAR has the largest solar-powered sports facility in the world - Pocono Speedway.

2. Nothing but a bunch of dumb, inbred rednecks.  This one really makes my blood boil.  I am a college-educated NASCAR fan.  I am not inbred...but some may consider me a redneck.  My husband is college-educated and a lot of our friends are college-educated NASCAR fans.  In fact, the number of college-educated NASCAR fans does not differ much from the number of college-educated non-NASCAR fans.  Beyond that, there are a number of NASCAR racers who are college-educated.  For example, Alan Kulwicki, the 1992 Winston Cup Champion studied Mechanical Engineering at University of Wisconsin of Milwaukee. Ryan Newman graduated from Purdue University in Indiana with an Engineering degree. Dale Earnhardt Jr has an Associate Degree in Automotive Technology and Jennifer Jo Cobb studied pre-journalism and completed an Associates Degree.  In fact, statistics show that NASCAR fans are 3% more likely to have a household income of $75k or higher than non-fans and 7% more likely to be married.  They are also more likely to own their home and have a disposable income.

3. Nothing but a bunch of cars making left turns.  NASCAR runs road courses and oval track.  Anyone who has any idea what a road course is, knows that there is both left and right turns.  There is a great deal of strategy and detail that goes into running a fast, well performing stock car.  Tiny adjustments can mean a huge difference between great, good and disaster.  Drivers have to rely on timing, agility, and physical fitness to get through a race safely.  Some of these races last hours - and driver fatigue could be detrimental not only to the driver himself (or herself), but also to the other drivers around them.

4. Drivers aren't athletes! Okay okay - have you ever seen Carl Edwards after he has won a race? He looks like a US Olympic Gymnast with is hands-free back flips.  NASCAR races are a test of endurance, just like the Tour de France or the Boston Marathon.  These drivers run 400, 500 or 600 in a matter of a couple of hours in cars without air conditioning, no muffler to take away the sound and no music radio to sing along to.  Being a race car driver requires you to be in tip-top shape - both mentally and physically.  If you aren't you won't run well, and well, can spell disaster.  Let me put this in perspective for you - an astronaut experiences 3 G's when being launched into space.  When Jeff Gordon hit the wall at Pocono in 2006, his car's force registered at 64 G's.

5. It's a Redneck Sport.  Yes, NASCAR was founded in the south.  And yes, a lot of it's racers and fans are from the south, but does being from the south make you a redneck?  I was born and raised in NE Ohio - and I am a NASCAR fan.  I enjoy the excitement.  I enjoy the adrenaline rush.  According to Wikipedia "The term Redneck is chiefly used for a poor rural white person of the Southern United States.  It can be a derogatory slang term similar in meaning to cracker, hillbilly, and white trash. By the 2000's, the term had expanded in meaning beyond the poor Southerner to refer to bigoted, loutish reactionary Americans who are opposed to modern ways.  It is often used to attack white Southern conservatives.  The term is also used broadly to degrade working class and rural whites that are perceived by urban progressives to be insufficiently liberal.  At the same time, some Southerners have reclaimed the word, using it with pride and defiance as a self-identifier."  So, if you think about this - I am from the north - born and raised.  I am a registered Democrat and define myself as a progressive-liberal.  I am a NASCAR fan.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Why I Love Parenting (and you should too)

Disclaimer:  I had typed this up and saved it and thought I scheduled it to be posted yesterday, but somehow or another (probably me doing something wrong) it didn't post.
Why do I love being a parent?  This is a question that someone asked me the other day.  It forced me to stop and think about my life as a parent and what makes me happy.  For someone like me who is career-oriented and never thought that I would be a parent, I have to say that being a parent has been the most fullfilling "career" I ever explored.

I decided that I would share with everyone why I love being a parent....and why you should love being a parent too.  First, it's about unconditional love.  I have someone in my life that I love unconditionally and that loves me back, unconditionally.  She will always be part of my life.  My daughter brings me so much joy that I sometimes feel like I am going to explode.

I love being a parent because I am raising a child into an adult.  I get to teach her how to be responsible.  I get to teach her right from wrong.  But I also get to sit back and watch her grow.  From an infant to toddler - from toddler to child - child to preteen - preteen to teenager - teenager to adult.  I get to experience all of her milestones, all of her achievements and be there to comfort her when she feels let down or defeated.  As the years go by, I also know that my daughter will become my best friend.  She will be the one who always loves me and I always love her.

Being a parent is hardwork, but it is hardwork that gives a lot of rewards.  One day she will be grown and married and become of parent herself - and then I will be a grandparent - and I will love that too.  Now I cannot lie and say that there are disappointments.  It's not always a fairy tail, but life in general is not a fairy tale.

So why should you love being a parent too?  Because your child deserves it!  You child deserves the unconditional love that being a parent is.  You child deserves a cheerleader behind them all the way and they deserve a person who will help shape them into responsible, loving, productive members of society.  But beyond all of that - you should love being a parent just because you ARE a parent.  You are blessed more than you will every possibly know.


Friday, February 21, 2014

10 Myths About Parenting Teens


This past week my darling daughter turned 12.  As I got over the shock that my baby girl is growing up way to fast, I then moved onto the fact that in 12 short months - my miracle baby is going to be a teenager.  I have been dreading these years.  You know - the years where things just get - well crazy.  But do they?

I have compiled a list of parenting myths when it comes to parenting teenagers.

1. The calmer the teenager, the better behaved they are.  - I am guilty of this.  I tend to be too lenient with my daughter for fear that I will do something to cause her to hate me.  The reality is, she if she is going to hate me, that's okay.  Because, when she is in a "jam", I will be the first one she comes to for comfort.  Most parents, myself included, fail to give rules and set boundaries because we don't want the conflict with our teen.  Basically parenting out of guilt is not going to make your teen calmer, much less better behaved.

2. Once a bad kid, always a bad kid. - This is not a myth that I neccassarily believe but I hear people say it all the time.  The greatest thing about our country is the fact that we give second chances.  Therefore, as a parent, the worst thing we can do is label our child (or any other for that matter) a "bad kid".

3. You can fix your child.  Guess what I have learned?  When the relationship be between my daughter & I goes sour, I can only look at myself to blame.  100% of the time, when our relationship is not working "right", the only thing that I can do is look at myself and what can I change about me - my reactions and my behaviors.  I can't change my teenager - only she can change herself.

4. I can't get my teenager to open up and talk to me. - Look - all teenagers want to do is talk.  Even when they say they don't want to talk - they do.  What THEY need and want is someone to listen. Someone who will listen to them without judgement or feeling as though they are going to be in trouble if they open up and tell the truth about what is going on in their life.

5.  My child prefers their friends over their family. -  What I have a hard time remembering is that I am raising an independent woman, just like my mother raised me to be independent.  The only way that I can allow my child to be independent is to give her some room to do her own thing.  Sometimes I just want my baby girl back.  The one who never wanted to leave my side.  But in reality, I don't want a "mama's girl" either.  I want her to be able to make her own decisions.  I want her to be able to make mistakes and learn from them.  This is a hard pill for me to swallow.  Yes, right now, my teenager wants to be with her friends.  I need to learn how to balance that with what I want.

6. Don't keep anything from your teenager. - Okay this is a hard one for me.  I know when I was growing up my parents kept "secrets" from my sister and I.  So did other adults in the family.  As I got older and into adulthood, the truth about some pretty serious, deep secrets within my family have come to light.  It was very painful to find out I had been lied to about certain things because the adults thought it was better that they didn't tell us kids.  Going through that experience, I have told myself that I don't want to hurt my child in that manner.  I don't want her to feel like I have kept secrets from her - thus giving her the feeling that she cannot trust me or my husband.  So, this one is a fine line.  Only you can decide what you will share with your teen and what you won't.

7. I can't be my teenager's friend. - Again, this is one of those gray areas.  Of course you can be your teenager's friend.  And when they become adults and get out on their own - more than likely they will feel as though you are their best friend.  And that is good.  You want your child to feel like they can share anything that they would share with their friends with you too.  So, therefore, you need to be their friend.  But you also need to be the parent.  Set boundaries.

8. Conflict cannot be resolved unless you and your teen see eye to eye.  - This one is simple - it's called compromise.  You and your teen won't always see eye to eye, but at least you can learn to have a mutual respect for each other.  But don't forget, this is your teen - give them a little time.

9.  When I spend time with my teen, it doesn't make a difference. - YES IT DOES!!!  The problem is the you won't really see it right away.  I have the hardest time with this one. Just like with #5.  The reality of it is that I can't and shouldn't give up.  Small moments are the ones that she is probably going to remember for the rest of her life.  I never told my mother how much I loved spending time with her.  Same with my dad.  But I truly loved our family time and I believe that because there were special moments between me and my parents, that I will once again have those moments with my child.

10. I need to make time with my child a priority so we can have teachable moments.  - While part of this is true - the reason for it is not.  I need to make more time for my child - but not so that we have "teachable"  moments, but rather we have "memorable" moments.  Special time together is just that - special.

In closing, I am going to say that I wanted to make this list for some selffish reasons - because I have a child whom I feel is pulling away from me and I feel like our relationship needs work.  I love my child more than anything else on this beautiful earth.  I want us to have a healthier and happier relationship than I had with my mother (who I did have a good relationship with).


Coming Clean…

 I didn’t want to put all of this out in public but after an episode that occurred Friday night in a very public way, my heart is telling me...