Living with Hashimoto's

I'm having one of those days where I wonder why I even got out of bed. It seems I have more & more of these kind of days. I have had these kind of days every now and again over the last 13 1/2 years. But up until about 5 months ago, my doctors never could figure out what was wrong so they guessed at treatments. Sometimes things would work and other times they wouldn't. 

Now that I have been diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis one would think that I would start to feel better. The truth is since I started synthetic thyroid hormones my body has been on this strange roller coaster. The first few weeks on Levothyroxine 50mcg I felt as thought I was getting a little bit of energy back and I also felt like I was thinking a bit clearer. I was a fat way from feeling like a lively 38 year old, but I could feel a small difference. My first blood test after being on Levo for 6 weeks show a very scary result -- my TSH went from a little over 18 to 27.62. WHAT?!?! How can I be getting worse?! My doctor increased the dose to 75 mcg.  Time to wait another 6-8 weeks to yeah my TSH levels again. 

This time when the medication was increased I had a symptoms flare up. I have to stop here and say that when I was first diagnosed with thyroid disease my doctor did not tell me it was Hashimoto's; instead she simply told my husband & I that I had an under active thyroid. While the majority of people with UT have Hashimoto's, not everyone does. We left the office in March knowing that an autoimmune disease was highly possible. 

Back to the medication- so I was on 75 mcg for 7 weeks and when I had my  blood test this time I asked for a full thyroid work up. Thyroid antibodies, TSH, Free T3 & T4. That is when I learned I was in the middle of a full blown attack on my body. TPOab - also known as Thyroperoxidase antibody- according to the lab that processed the test, should not be any higher than 59 UI/ml. My TPOab factor was over 3300. Yes that means that the thyroid antibodies are going to town in my body. 

Right now I am on 100 mcg of Levo per morning and I still don't feel much of an improvement. If anything my insomnia has gotten much worse, my hair is falling out, I am still over 300 lbs and can't get my weight loss surgery until my Thyroid is under control. I don't like the way my face looks and I hate looking at myself in the mirror.   

I have to continue to pray that the medical professionals know what they are doing. I have to have faith that I will get my life back. I know strangers look at me and they are disgusted with my looks. They don't know that this is a result of a disease. I didn't ask for this disease but I have it and all I can do now is fight and try to overcome it.