Have you been wondering if having weight loss surgery is right for you? For years, I struggled with my weight. I tried tons of different ways to lose weight. I told doctors that there was something wrong with me because I just couldn't lose the weight. The biggest problem was that I wasn't always overweight and I knew that one day I could be that thin, fit, woman that I was in high school. The reality of it is that I am not in high school anymore and I am nearing "middle age". With each year that I got older, it became harder and harder to lose weight.
My road to weight loss surgery started about 13 years ago when my daughter was 1 year old. I had gained over 100 pounds during my pregnancy and I was struggling to get back into shape. For a year, I gained and lost the same 50 pounds. When my daughter was a year old I decided that I was going to stop eating. I developed a very sick relationship with food. While I viewed food as my "medicine" to help me cope with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem, I also looked at food as something that I didn't really need. For 11 months I rarely ate solid food. Instead, I survived on a lot of yogurt, jello, milkshakes, juice and alcohol. When I was drinking alcohol everyday, I didn't feel like I really needed to eat "real" food. I would maybe have one "meal" a day - often times it was not anything that would be considered healthy by any stretch of the imagination. I lost weight, but I was very unhealthy. I am sure that I was suffering from malnutrition and some psychiatrists would probably have labeled me anorexic; even though I didn't look like I was.
So, after years and years of gaining and losing, gaining and losing; trying all of the popular diets, all I was doing was gaining. I stepped on the scale one day in late 2014 and I found that I had gained more weight than I did when I was pregnant and I cried for hours after reading the scale - 290 pounds. I was devistated. At that exact moment, I decided that I didn't want any more pictures taken of me unless I was dressed in a way that wouldn't make me look fat. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I truly believe that if I was single without a child that I would have gotten rid of every mirror in the house. I becamse so depressed that all I wanted to do was sleep or eat. I hated getting up everyday and going to work. I couldn't go shopping or do anything that required a lot of walking because it caused too much physical pain. I didn't want to be seen in public and I hated that it had gotten to this point.
It wasn't very long after that that I realized that perhaps I had something medically wrong with me. I was experiencing other problems like memory loss, inability to focus, diminished comprehension. I started to realize that there really was something wrong with me. After fighting with medical professionals for years over things that they thought were "in my head", I decided it was time to take control of my own health.
I started to research weight loss surgery. I had to decide if this was something that I was willing to do in order to experience the happiness that I hadn't felt in nearly 20 years. One of the first things I had to do was determine if I was a candidate for surgery. I learned that in order to be a candidate for weight loss surgery you had to be considered obese with a BMI of 30 or more. Check. I knew I had that beat. I also learned that there are certain co-morbidities that can make a person a candidate. I knew I had two - depression and heart disease. The next thing I had to figure out was if I had the ability to commit to lifelong changes. I certainly did. I was beyond ready to change my lifestyle. Third, I had to talk to Jeff about what I wanted to do. Was he going to support me no matter what? Was he willing to make changes that he would have to make in order for me to be successful?
I was happy after he agreed to support me no matter what I chose to do. I attended a consultation at Vanderbilt Center for Surgical Weight Loss. I met with a nutritionist and the surgeon who would perform the surgery. I participated in 90 days of medically supervised diet. After the first 30 days I had gained more weight being on the food plan that was given to me. I had lots of blood work done and learned the reason I couldn't lose weight - I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - under active thyroid. My numbers were so out of wack that it was determined that my thyroid was not functioning at all - which meant that I had no metabolism to burn calories. This was why all that was happening was me gaining weight!
Over the next several months I went through about a dozen medication changes. I had to change my diet completely - no more soy, limit anything with gluten. Finally, after months of doctors visits, learning how to eat right and lots of prayer, I was finally approved for surgery.
This is not an easy journey. It's not a quick fix and it certainly is not for people who are not willing to do the work it takes to succeed. They said that I will probably lose about 70% of the excess weight. I am determined to be the exception and lose 100% of the excess weight. It is very difficult and some days I have a really hard time making the right food choices or having the discipline to exercise like I should. I still have days where I am ashamed of the weight I gained and the lack of physical activity in my life, but each day I make a promise to myself to TRY. I make a promise to myself that I am going to reach my goal; even if it takes longer than I once expected.
I am turning 40 years old this year. I want to start the next half of my life on a better note. So, if you are thinking that weight loss surgery might be your only hope - make sure that you are willing to do what it takes. This is not an easy fix. This isn't a miracle cure. It's a tool to help you make the right decisions and right choices that will lead to a healthier you.
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